


Drop a coin into the sea

by rsadelle



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-15
Updated: 2015-01-15
Packaged: 2018-03-07 15:30:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3176823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rsadelle/pseuds/rsadelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The baby isn't Jeff's, but it's Mike's, and that's enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drop a coin into the sea

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jazzish](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jazzish/gifts).



> For jazzish who asked for grumpy pregnant Mike. Title from Stars' "The Night Starts Here."

Mike is sitting at the counter when Jeff comes downstairs from his nap.

"Hey," Jeff says.

Mike turns on his stool. "Hi." He looks tired, face a little fuller, maybe, shirt too loose to show anything else.

Mike doesn't get up, so Jeff goes to him and telegraphs his intentions before he hugs Mike so Mike can stop him if he wants.

Mike doesn't, accepts and returns the hug, leans into Jeff's chest.

"I thought you were going to fish at the lake through this whole thing."

"I was," Mike grumbles. "But now getting anywhere near fish makes me nauseous."

Jeff decidedly does not laugh.

"This sucks," Mike continues to complain, his face pressed to Jeff's shoulder. "I keep throwing up, I have to pee all the time, everything makes me tired."

"You could've come upstairs for a nap," Jeff says.

Mike pulls away and shrugs, like he wasn't sure he'd be welcome.

Jeff lets it go. "Are you hungry? I have some steaks in the fridge. That okay?"

"Yeah," Mike says.

Jeff walks around the counter into the kitchen and gets out steaks and potatoes. "How's Junior?"

"The docs say everything is good." Mike closes his laptop and leans his elbows on the counter. "It's a boy for sure."

"What'd your mom say about that?"

Mike gives him a sideways smile. "That after three sons, she shouldn't be surprised."

Jeff chuckles. "That sounds like your mom."

Mike laughs too, and then he loosens up and tells Jeff a bunch of stories about Kenora. There's a conspicuous lack of fish in them.

They keep talking for a while after they're finished eating, more stories from Kenora and Jeff filling Mike in on what the team's been up to, but Jeff puts a stop to it when Mike looks like he's going to fall asleep on the table.

"You want to go up to bed?"

"Yeah," Mike says.

Jeff grabs Mike's bag from the entryway and ignores his token protest that he can carry it himself.

"Do you want to sleep with me or do you want one of the guest rooms?"

Mike doesn't answer right away, and Jeff waits until they're at the top of the stairs to push it.

"It's your choice," Jeff says, and he waits again, until Mike turns toward Jeff's room.

Jeff puts Mike's bag down inside his closet. While Mike is changing for bed and brushing his teeth, Jeff retrieves the body pillow he stored in the guest room closet where it was out of the way.

"You just have one of those lying around?" Mike asks when Jeff puts it on the bed for him.

"I do now." He bought it after Mike texted him a picture of the one he was sleeping with in Kenora, guessing correctly that it was too big for Mike to travel with.

Mike makes a nonspecific noise of acknowledgment.

"You good?" Jeff asks. "Need anything else?"

"It's fine," Mike says. "Stop hovering."

Jeff keeps his laugh inside. "Sure, bud. I'm not tired yet, but I'll be up later." Just before he closes the door on his way out of the room, he says, "I'm glad you're here."

*

Jeff wakes up because he can hear Mike throwing up. It's a weird sort of old muscle memory that gets him out of bed and in there to rub Mike's back before he's fully awake. They haven't needed to do that for each other since before they left Philly.

"My cooking that bad?" Jeff asks.

"I had to pee," Mike says. "And then once I was up I was nauseous again." He leans back against Jeff. "I hate this part."

Jeff rubs his shoulders. "Junior, you gotta be nicer to your dad."

Mike lets out a tired laugh. "I don't think that's going to work." He sighs, and then pushes off of Jeff to stand.

"You need anything?" Jeff asks.

Mike goes right back to being annoyed, probably at the necessity of asking, "Do you have any saltines?"

"I'll go look."

The clock on the microwave in the kitchen says it's just after two. Probably makes for good practice for midnight feedings, but Jeff won't say that to Mike.

"This is the closest thing I could find," Jeff says when he goes back upstairs. He holds the box of Wheat Thins out to Mike.

"Might work." Mike takes a few of them, and he doesn't throw them up again.

*

Pregnancy hasn't made Mike any less of a sound sleeper; he doesn't wake up when Jeff gets up and dressed in the morning. Jeff leaves him a note and heads to the rink for morning skate.

"You're in a good mood this morning," Toff says as they line up for drills.

"Yep," Jeff says. He grins and skates off to put one past Quickie.

"What do you have to be so happy about?" Pears yells after him.

Jeff swings past them and taps Pears' skate with his stick on his way back to the end of the line, still grinning.

They've been on the ice for a bit before Jeff catches sight of Mike, bundled into a hoodie, curled down into it so he seems smaller, sitting on the bench.

"So that's what you're so happy about," Pears says when he sees where Jeff's looking. "He doing all right?"

"Seems to be," Jeff says, because he's not going to tell Pears details about Mike that Mike hasn't said he can share.

There's a crowd around Mike when they leave the ice after skate, guys pausing to fist bump him and say hi. Mike stands up when Jeff swings off the ice and goes with them to the locker room.

"What are you doing here, Rick?" Quickie asks across the room. "What happened to fishing for nine months?"

Mike rolls his head to one side like he does when the media asks him a question he doesn't like. "Fish makes me nauseous now."

Their team is a little less kind as a group than Jeff was last night; nearly everyone laughs.

"Sucks to be you," Lewie says.

"Just wait until you get out of the nauseous phase," Justin says. "The next one is fun."

"Lots of fun," Kopi says. "I've never had so much sex."

"That only works for the first kid," Brownie puts in. "After that you're too tired and you don't have any privacy."

That also makes almost everyone laugh.

Jeff leaves them to it and heads to the showers. When he comes out of them, Mike's talking to Kopi, head ducked a little, not quite smiling but looking relaxed. Jeff goes over to them after he's dressed.

"And, hey," Kopi says, "if he's not taking care of you right," he jerks a thumb at Jeff, "you can come stay with us."

Mike throws Jeff an unreadable look, and Jeff just lets the whole thing roll off of him. No one's come right out and said it, but the boys have made it pretty clear they think Jeff's the baby's other father, and he's used to it by now.

"I'm going to stop at the store on the way home," Jeff says to Mike. "Anything you want other than saltines?"

"Oranges," Mike says. "Maybe tacos for lunch?"

"Sure," Jeff says. "Anything I should avoid other than fish?"

Mike makes one of those faces that mean he doesn't like what he's saying. "Turkey bacon. The regular stuff is fine."

"Okay," Jeff says. "See you at home."

*

"You're really starting to show," Jeff says one night when he's in bed before Mike and idly watching Mike change into pajamas.

Mike tugs his shirt down over his belly. It's loose, like everything he wears these days, which is why Jeff hasn't noticed how much he's showing.

"Yeah," Mike says. "Yeah. I-" He looks down at himself and then comes around to Jeff's side of the bed. "Do you want to feel it?"

"I thought you didn't want people touching you."

Mike makes a face. "Not strangers in the street. People think because I'm pregnant they can just touch me."

It's a familiar rant by now, one of the things Mike complains about when he gets going on what he doesn't like about being pregnant. But he offered to let Jeff touch, so he puts one hand over Mike's stomach.

It's been a long time since Jeff touched Mike with deliberate intent.

Under his hand, he can feel the way Mike's belly is rounding out.

"Definitely having a baby," Jeff says.

Mike huffs out a laugh. "Yeah."

Jeff takes his hand away and Mike goes around to his side of the bed. It's one of those nights where he grumbles under his breath about how difficult being pregnant makes things and it takes a few minutes for him to settle. Jeff waits for him to be done before he turns off the lamp on his nightstand.

"The guys think you're the other father, don't they?" Mike asks.

"No one's said that," Jeff says, "but yeah."

"They're going to think you're such an asshole when Junior's born," Mike says. "Why didn't you tell them you're not?"

"I didn't know what you wanted. You went off to Kenora, and I didn't want to tell them all that even I don't know who it is if you didn't want me to."

"You could have asked," Mike grumbles at him.

"You told everyone you were pregnant and then got on the next plane to Canada," Jeff points out. "You didn't seem to want to talk about it much."

Mike doesn't answer that, and Jeff starts to feel guilty for it after a few minutes.

"I don't know who the father is," Mike says eventually. "I mean, I know when it happened, but I don't know the guy. He was just some guy I met at a club. I didn't get his number."

Jeff has no idea what to say to that.

"It doesn't matter anyway," Mike says fiercely. "This is my kid, not anyone else's."

Jeff doesn't know what to say to that either - pointing out that if the guy figures it out he might want partial custody probably isn't helpful - so he just pats Mike's shoulder.

*

Jeff goes on a road trip that doesn't even last a week, but when he gets home, Arnold greets him at the door and Mike's clothes aren't doing anything to hide his belly anymore.

"Hey, buddy," Jeff says to Arnold, and "Hi," to Mike.

"I was lonely," Mike says defensively. He has his arms crossed over his chest above his belly.

"I didn't say anything," Jeff says. "He can be here." He moves carefully and gives Mike a quick, gentle hug.

Mike follows Jeff up the stairs and talks his ear off - he really was lonely - about everything from getting Arnold down here to how much the baby is kicking him.

"Right into my ribs," he grumbles. "And my back hurts and I still have to pee all the time."

"Sorry, bud," Jeff says.

Mike makes a face at Jeff like he thinks he's being humored.

Jeff puts his hand on Mike's shoulder. "Didn't you have a doctor's appointment? What'd they say?"

Mike leans into Jeff's hand the way he didn't lean into his hug earlier. "They said Junior's doing fine, and that all of this shit is normal."

Jeff shifts to rubbing Mike's shoulders. "That's good." He drapes one arm down across Mike's body. "Is it okay if I?"

"Yeah," Mike says. "You might be able to feel him kicking now." He leans back against Jeff while Jeff lets his hand rest on top of his stomach. "There," Mike says, and Jeff sucks in a breath, because he felt that.

It's a little overwhelming to feel such clear evidence that Mike is carrying a baby who's going to become a person. Jeff presses his cheek to the top of Mike's head. "Wow."

Mike leans into him a little more and turns his head so his cheek is resting on Jeff's shoulder. Jeff breathes him in for a moment, waiting to feel the baby kick again.

"Mike," he says softly, and it's so easy for Jeff to dip his head down and kiss him.

Mike kisses him back, he does, but only for a moment before he twists away from Jeff.

"We're not," he says.

"We could be," Jeff says patiently. "We have before."

"And look how that turned out," Mike snaps.

Jeff barely restrains himself from rolling his eyes. "Yeah, it sucked being apart and you decided we were done."

"We were," Mike says. "We are. And it's not even your baby."

"You're sleeping in my bed," Jeff says flatly. "And so what if it's not mine? It's yours. That's enough."

Mike gives him a look that Jeff reads as both scared and startled, and then he says, "I'm taking Arnold for a walk."

"Everything happens for a reason," Jeff calls down the stairs after him.

That probably could have gone better.

*

Mike avoids Jeff for a while. He still sleeps in Jeff's bed, but he's scarce otherwise. Jeff gives him his space.

It doesn't go unnoticed.

"Hang in there," Justin tells Jeff with a bracing clap to his shoulder. "These things go in stages. You'll be having fun again soon."

Brownie says, "Pregnancy can take a toll on your relationship. Even Nicole and I went through some rough patches like that." He also pats Jeff's shoulder. "You know you can come to me if you ever want to talk."

Pears is less tactful, tipping his head toward Mike across the room and asking, "Trouble in paradise?"

Jeff gives noncommittal answers to Justin and Brownie, and tells Pears to mind his own business.

He stays far away from the conversation Kopi has with Mike that has Mike alternately looking up at Kopi and across the room at Jeff. If it's a more serious version of Kopi offering to make up for Jeff not treating him right, Jeff doesn't need to know.

It's after that conversation, though, while Jeff is making dinner and Mike is hovering more than he has since Jeff kissed him, that Mike asks, "Would it really be enough for you? That it's mine?" He has one hand over his belly like Jeff wouldn't be able to figure out what he's talking about otherwise.

"Yes." Jeff keeps most of his attention on cooking so he doesn't scare Mike away. "I'm going to love Junior because he's yours, and it doesn't change how I feel about you."

The conversation ends there for the moment, but when they go to bed, before Jeff can turn out the light, Mike leans over and kisses him.

Jeff kisses back, staying at the same level of close-mouthed gentleness that Mike's using to kiss him.

It's just the one kiss, but when Mike's done with his usual grumbling and settling in around his body pillow he pulls Jeff's arm over him until Jeff's hand is resting on his belly.

*

The team, spearheaded, Jeff surmises, by Toff and Pears, throw Mike a baby shower. Mike and Jeff are involved in the planning only so far as to approve the date.

A caterer comes in with trays and trays of food, there's a bakery delivery of baby-themed cupcakes - Toff was definitely involved with that - and the boys show up with a pile of gifts in pastel paper.

"Ah, fuck," Mike says, "are you really going to make the pregnant guy write every one of you a thank-you note?"

"Make Jeff do it," Pears suggests.

Jeff's too far away to hit him for that, so he settles for flipping him off while everyone else laughs.

It's mostly an afternoon of eating and, for everyone but Mike, drinking, with someone occasionally reminding Mike to open some presents.

The baby clothes and blankets look so small in Mike's hands, feel tiny in Jeff's.

Mike starts to fade around four, his laughter being replaced with complaints about how his back hurts and how he's ready for Junior to stop kicking every one of his internal organs and the way people look at him when he takes Arnold for walks.

Jeff puts his arm around Mike's shoulders. They've been taking things slow - Jeff's letting Mike set the pace for what he's comfortable with - and if they were alone, Jeff would kiss him too. He's not sure where Mike's boundaries are around being like that in front of their team, but Mike leans against him, so at least this far is okay.

The advantage to the party being mostly Toff and Pears' idea is that it means Jeff can put them in charge of cleanup and sit with Mike on the couch while guys take the hint and leave in groups of two or three.

"You doing okay?" Jeff asks when almost everyone is gone.

"Tired," Mike says. "But it was good."

Jeff can hear Toff, Pears, and Joner, the last ones left, arguing over something inconsequential in the kitchen, so he presses a kiss to the top of Mike's head.

Mike lets out a sigh and relaxes into Jeff in a way he didn't while there were other people still in the room. "Everything's so small." He gestures at the pile of onesies and shirts, blankets and tiny jerseys.

Jeff kisses Mike's temple, his cheek. "Hard to believe Junior's going to be that small when you're so big."

Mike laughs and jerks an elbow into Jeff's ribs. "Asshole."

Jeff doesn't bother denying it. "Want to go upstairs for a nap, or should I kick the kids out so you can sleep on the couch?"

Mike shrugs. "Let them keep eating the cupcakes." He pushes Jeff to one end of the couch so he can lie down, curled around a couple of throw pillows with his head on Jeff's thigh.

"Shit," Pears says when he comes into the living room, and then, quieter, "sorry."

Jeff shrugs, and points out the cups still sitting on the coffee table and the pile of wrapping paper that hasn't been thrown out yet. The noise level in the kitchen goes down after Pears goes that way, and it stays low.

"I think we got everything," Toff says quietly when they come into the living room to say goodbye to Jeff.

"Thanks," Jeff says. "And thanks for the party."

"We wanted to do it," Pears says.

Toff, Pears, and Joner are careful not to disrupt Mike when they hug Jeff goodbye.

*

"We should've had sex," Mike grumbles at Jeff. "Like, months ago." He's in the process of going to bed, which means he grumbles about whatever he's annoyed about and shuffles around trying to get comfortable.

"We still could," Jeff suggests. He's been jerking off thinking about it, about what it was like before, when they were in Philly, and how it would be different now. Different place, different considerations for how he would have to touch Mike.

"No," Mike says, "because the last thing I feel like doing now is having sex. But we should've, before this."

Jeff waits until Mike gets settled in before he leans over and kisses him. "We can have sex later, after Junior's born."

"Maybe," Mike says darkly, "if we're not sleep-deprived all the time. I've been reading about that."

Jeff tries to keep his chuckles silent, but doesn't quite manage it, and Mike hits his arm for it.

"We'll make someone else take Junior for a night," Jeff says, "so we can get enough rest to have sex." He tucks his arm around Mike and kisses his neck. "I promise blowjobs are not a thing of the past."

Mike laughs. Then he stops and says, "Sorry I'm the reason you're not getting any either."

"I really miss sex," Jeff says, "but you're carrying Junior. That's pretty important." He nuzzles at Mike's neck. "Those blowjobs aren't going to be just for you."

*

Jeff sits next to Mike and lets him hold his hand so tightly it hurts while the doctor cuts into Mike's belly to deliver the baby.

"Okay?" Jeff asks.

"It's weird," Mike says. He's staring at the drape keeping them from watching the surgery. "What if Arnold doesn't like him?"

"Arnold's going to love him," Jeff says. He has no idea if that's true, but Arnold adores Mike, and will probably follow Mike's cues when it comes to the baby. "We're all going to love him." He uses his free hand to brush Mike's hair away from his face. It's getting long, and it curls over Mike's forehead.

Mike turns his head into Jeff's hand. "This is really weird," he mutters.

Jeff bends down and kisses him. "I know."

They hear the baby cry before they get to see him, and then they only get to see him briefly before the nurse whisks him away to the other side of the room to be looked at.

Mike looks longingly after the baby, and Jeff holds his hand tight while they wait for the nurse to bring the baby back to them.

Mike isn't allowed to sit up yet, so they give the baby to Jeff.

"Look at him," Jeff says. He smiles at Mike and at the baby. "Look how beautiful he is."

"Yeah," Mike says, and he's not even pretending not to cry.

"He's going to need a name," Jeff says. They don't have one for him yet because Mike said they couldn't give him a name until they saw him.

"We're not naming him Junior," Mike says. "Or Michael Junior. Or Carter."

Jeff chuckles a little. "Okay," he says. "What do you think?"

"I don't know," Mike admits. He reaches out to touch the baby's cheek. "What's your name?"

Jeff looks down at the baby, at Mike's finger so large against his cheek. "What about Nathan?"

"Nathan," Mike repeats. "Are you a Nathan?" he asks the baby.

"It means gift from God," Jeff says. Mike's refusal to pick a name didn't stop him from looking online for ideas. Nathan isn't the only one he'd liked, but now that he has the baby in his arms, it feels like the best fit. "Everything happens for a reason."

"Nathan," Mike says, and there are tears in his eyes again. "Hi, Nathan." He moves his hand from Nathan's cheek to tug at Jeff's shoulder until he bends close enough that that Mike can kiss him, and then so that Mike can kiss Nathan's cheek. "Everything happens for a reason."


End file.
